


let's get loud, and fake it till we make it

by marvelleous



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbours, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 04:05:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9960410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelleous/pseuds/marvelleous
Summary: Melinda is constantly woken up at night by her loud and rowdy neighbours. Obviously the only solution is retaliation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> blame monkey_and_music_lover for this one. this is all her fault. also thanks to studiocapsium :)

Melinda is drawn from her restless slumber by loud noises through the wall, and a softer knocking at her door. She knows what is happening even before she rolls over in bed to turn on the lights, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with one hand and sighing audibly. 

  


She forces herself out of bed and leaves the comfort of her room to answer the front door, scowling at the disturbance from her rowdy neighbours. Her expression softens as she opens the door and finds Phil Coulson standing there in his sleepwear, a bottle of whiskey in one hand. 

  


“They’re at it again,” she murmurs as she opens the door wider to let him in, closing it softly behind them and securing the lock. 

  


“How many times this week?” he commiserates, heading over to her kitchen in the darkness and flicking on the lights. 

  


“Four,” she grumbles, hopping up on the barstool as he digs around in her cupboards for two shot glasses. He doesn’t find them on the shelves because they’re still sitting beside her sink from last night. 

  


Phil moves to take the seat beside her, but she drags him over to her living room instead, and they settle on the couch as he pours out two shots, handing one to her before downing his own with a grimace. 

  


As much as Melinda hates being woken up in the middle of the night by her annoying neighbours having irritatingly noisy sex, she doesn’t mind at all that Phil has taken to coming over to share the pain with her. He lives in the apartment on the other side of the Browning’s, and is probably the only one who understands what it is like for her. 

  


They’ve lived in the same building for three years, sharing polite smiles and hellos when passing one another in the halls, but only in the past few months has their friendship really developed. She remembers that first evening he had appeared at her door, an expensive and unopened bottle of whiskey hanging from one hand and a stack of ungraded papers in the other, and she had ushered him in without a second thought. 

  


They’re on their third bottle now. 

  


“Busy day in the morning?” he asks her, refilling his own glass before setting the bottle back down on her coffee table. She shrugs and leans back into couch, closing her eyes with a soft groan just as an even louder one is heard in the distance. 

  


“This is ridiculous. How much sex do two people need to have? And do they have to be so loud?” 

  


Melinda actually cracks a smile at his words, and he grins back.

  


“We should give them a taste of their own medicine,” she suggests, pushing herself to her feet and stretching her arms above her head. Phil’s eyes widen at her words, and at the strip of exposed skin he can see just above the waistband of her sleeping shorts. “And by that I mean have really loud fake sex,” she continues, grabbing his arm and leading him to her bedroom, which just happens to share a wall with their annoying neighbours’ bedroom. 

  


She releases his arm at the doorway and moves to lean against the wall beside her bed. With barely any warning, she slams her first against the wall, letting out a very loud, very drawn out moan, that has Phil stunned. 

  


And then she does it again. 

  


“Come on Phil, don’t make me do all the work,” she yells out before bursting into a round of silent laughter, and he can’t help but smile fondly before moving beside her. He slams his own hand against the wall before letting out a series of grunts.

  


“God, Melinda, don’t stop.”

  


She snickers at that, nudging his shoulder as he groans in a completely over the top manner. 

  


Their little game lasts another five minutes, and by then, they’re both red in the face, out of breath from laughing, and all they can hear from next door is silence. 

  


“I can’t believe that worked,” he tells her, laughing softly and shaking his head, and when she doesn’t respond, he turns and sees her watching him with an unfamiliar expression. Her eyes are wide, and she’s chewing on her bottom lip and when had the room gotten so hot? 

  


Before he has a chance to react any further, she has a fistful of his shirt in her hand and she’s pulling him down for a kiss. He’s still trying to process what is happening when her other hand moves up to cup his jaw and god… he just spent the last ten minutes having fake sex with his neighbour and now she’s kissing him… he must be dreaming.

  


Except it’s definitely real. 

  


He moves one hand to the small of her back, pressing her against him, while the other finds it’s way into her hair, his fingers curling tightly around the strands, and they’re both wondering why they didn’t do this three years ago. Then they could have been the ones having loud sex while their neighbours lost sleep and cursed them behind their backs. 

  


They slowly stumble backwards until the back of Melinda’s legs hit the edge of her bed, and then she’s falling, dragging him down with her, tugging at his shirt, trying to pull it off him. Their clothes end up flung to all four corners of the room, and neither of them get much more sleep before the sun rises in the morning. His back is covered with scratches,she has bruises littering her body, and they’re both late for work, but they’ve never been happier. 

  


They actually get a noise complaint shoved under the door the next day. 

  


It ends up pinned to Phil’s refrigerator. 


End file.
